Self-Discovery
by Shikiyamachi
Summary: Shinji and Satoshi set off on a journey together after certain realizations, accompanied by Meowth and Pikachu, where they discover Pokémon training is not all they want to do.
1. Goodbye But Not Farewell

_Summary: Shinji and Satoshi set off on a journey together after certain realizations, accompanied by Meowth and Pikachu, where they discover Pokémon training is not all they want to do._

 _Pairings: ComaShipping, KrazyShipping_

 _Time Period: Takes place after Shinji/Satoshi's final battle._

 _Notes: Ages are realistically set (ex. Satoshi fifteen, Shinji sixteen) and Japanese human names are used while Pokémon retain their English names. Also, this story is on AO3 with seven chapters, but I have decided to place it here as well since several people enjoy reading it._

* * *

 ** _Self-Discovery_**  
Chapter One  
 _Goodbye But Not Farewell_

He didn't understand why he was searching so desperately for Shinji. It was just something he had to do, something he couldn't explain that pushed his legs forward until he finally caught sight of purple hair, seconds before the strands disappeared as his target stepped down a flight of stairs.

Without hesitation, in fear of missing his rival, Satoshi continued running, his arms swinging faster to hopefully increase his speed. He reached the top of the steep staircase, reassuring himself that the other person was Shinji before moving down five steps and calling out.

"Shinji!"

The other boy didn't ignore him, but actually turned around, giving his full attention instead of brushing Satoshi off like so many other times. The problem was, now that he was faced with Shinji's expectant look, anything he wanted to say was quickly forgotten. In that moment of absolute silence, all he could hear was the sound of the wind and the unsteady beats inside his chest – a feeling he assumed was from his frantic sprinting – but just as he was about to speak, Shinji surprisingly went first.

"Infernape's gotten a lot stronger."

The compliment was out of nowhere, but not unwelcome. That one little sentence assured that his way of handling the training of his Pokémon wasn't wrong or foolish like Satoshi had been close to thinking after all his losses by Shinji's harsh training strategy. Shinji was strong, definitely, but Satoshi knew his rival could be stronger, if only he would treat his Pokémon with the love and care they deserve. But he and Shinji were so different – polar opposites, his friends had said – and for Shinji to adopt his affectionate attitude towards Pokémon would be nothing like the boy Satoshi had come to appreciate.

They had opposite personalities and different approaches to training, and their Pokémon had adapted to those differences ( _Chimchar being the notable exception in Shinji's case_ ). To Satoshi, Shinji was a great person and a skilled and powerful trainer. His rival had faults, but who didn't?

No one was perfect, and Satoshi could admit that he had some imperfections too. He wasn't the brightest one in any group, and most of what he knows comes from five years' worth of travelling experience. Friends and many of his acquaintances have called him naïve, and Satoshi supposed they were right, considering he felt clueless more than half the time when accompanied by his more knowledgeable companions.

Remembering the beginning of his journey with Kasumi and Takeshi, back when he was struggling to achieve his Kanto badges, Satoshi had an embarrassing amount of faults, but as he grew older and fought more battles and met new people and Pokémon, he eventually became someone he could be proud of.

Satoshi's self-reflection revitalized him, finally replying with a tone exhibiting his current state of happiness, however brief.

"He really has!" He paused before continuing with a more somber voice level. "Are you leaving?"

Pikachu, who he had practically forgotten in his hurry to find his rival, let loose a sad, "Chu…"

"I lost, you know, so there's no reason for me to stay here. I'll go back to Snowpoint City, to request another battle with Jindai-san."

Shinji's response was not what he had hoped for.

His chest started to hurt and his throat seemed to close up when he realized Shinji was going away, and like so many others, Satoshi knew he'd never see him again. Right at this very moment he could nod and turn away, maybe suggest another battle for a day that would never come, then finish the competition and begin another journey after that.

But no, he didn't want that. Satoshi wanted Shinji to stay, with him, to see his match against Takuto and the match that would follow if he beat the legendary Pokémon trainer. Then maybe they could travel together, along with Hikari and Takeshi, or just with Takeshi, or even just the two of them, getting stronger while forging a friendship Satoshi had always yearned for with the other trainer.

Satoshi felt the sting of upcoming tears and pushed them back as best he could, because he knew that nothing would stop Shinji from defeating the Pyramid King.

So with a heavy heart, he wished him good luck and received a similar response from Shinji who turned away, going down a few more steps.

This, he knew, was his only chance.

Summoning his confidence, he surrounded his mouth with his hands and yelled, "Shinji, after you defeat Jindai-san, let's meet up again! I'll send my number and address to Reiji-san!"

Shinji halted as his head jerked up. The warning toot from a boat's horn sounded just when the taller boy lifted up a hand, signaling goodbye. The burning in Satoshi's eyes faded once he heard a vocal reply.

"Until then… Satoshi."

He was out of sight by the time Satoshi processed a very distinct difference in their interaction besides the lack of insults on Shinji's part.

With a deafening whoop of delight and pure giddiness, Satoshi lifted Pikachu into his arms and ran up the stairs, jumping and swinging his best friend around once they were a safe distance from the steps. The electric mouse released a pleasant shock of electricity in response to his trainer's positive emotions as Satoshi cried out, "He said my name! Shinji finally called me by name, Pikachu! How awesome is that!"

"Pi-Pika-Chu, Pikapi!"

Satoshi danced for as long as his legs allowed, ignoring those that openly stared at his excitement.

He'd be seeing Shinji again. That was all that mattered.


	2. Takuto's Wisdom

**_Self-Discovery  
_** Chapter Two  
 _Takuto's Wisdom_

That very evening found Satoshi lying spread-eagle on the grass, looking up at the luminous stars spread throughout the black sky, unbothered by any remaining light from the Lily of the Valley Island. Several feet away, Pikachu was jumping across trees in the nearest forest, talking in his Pika language whenever a stray Pokémon passed by.

Takeshi and Hikari were asleep, as were the competitors that had decided to stay for the rest of the Conference. Satoshi, however, chose to lay in nature, because like in the Johto League, he was unable to sleep, but this time, he didn't have Shigeru beside him. Not even a day had passed, and already Satoshi was feeling the loss of Shinji's presence. During his journey in Sinnoh, he always knew Shinji would pop out anywhere at any time. Now the other boy was off to challenge Jindai again, and Satoshi had no idea when he'd return from that.

Satoshi didn't understand why Shinji's leave made him feel so… troubled, was the only word he could think of to describe his current feelings. Losing Kasumi and Takeshi after Kanto was sad, but bearable once he was no longer afraid of being alone, and Haruka and Masato's departure wasn't devastating either. He imagined Hikari leaving for her own solo journey, but she provoked the same emotions as the sister-brother duo, and Takeshi's permanent loss was saddening, but only because the aspiring breeder had been with him since the beginning.

He and Shinji had only known each other this past year…

"Pikapi!"

Satoshi's eyes fluttered open, not realizing that he had closed them, and gasped as a dark shadow floated above him. He lifted himself by the elbows, and with the moon shining its light onto the large figure, could recognize a familiar fog-like flame and red spikes.

"You're Satoshi, right?"

The Darkrai moved away from him and towards Pikachu who settled on a tree branch, greeting the legendary Pokémon as if they were old friends. The pitch-black Pokémon returned the greeting in a breathy whisper.

Satoshi scrambled to his feet, coming face-to-face with the mysterious Takuto.

From Jun's description, he had been expecting some creepy kid only dressed in black with a hat to shadow his face. Instead he was seeing a man with long blue hair and a welcoming face, wearing anything but black.

Noticing a hand stretched out towards him, Satoshi emitted a quiet 'oh' and returned the polite gesture, his other hand brushing through his hair, hat abandoned somewhere on the ground. "That's me."

"I'm Takuto, you're opponent tomorrow morning." The man pulled away and sat down with one knee bent, then with a relaxed sigh, wrapped an arm around it while leaning forward, watching their Pokémon converse quietly.

Satoshi followed the other trainer down, crossing his legs and holding his head up with a hand, elbow resting on his thigh as he turned to gaze at his future challenger with forlorn eyes. "Not to be rude or anything, Takuto-san, but why are you here?"

A low chuckle, and then he said, "Darkrai sensed your emotions, which I assume aren't good ones. Care to open up to a stranger, Satoshi?"

He didn't say a word, taking in the fresh, cool air of the evening wind, contemplating whether he wanted to accept Takuto's offer. Eventually, Satoshi decided to do so. He wasn't comfortable talking to Takeshi or Hikari, though he was unsure of the reason. They were his friends, the former being one of his best friends, so shouldn't he tell them instead?

His mouth was already moving before he could answer himself. "I'm not sure what's wrong with me, to be honest."

"Just say anything that comes to mind. It doesn't have to make sense."

His baritone voice was soothe and encouraging, urging Satoshi to try exactly that.

"There's this person that I've only known for a year and they left this afternoon. I've had to say goodbye to a lot of special people and Pokémon, but I've never felt so unhappy as I do now. And we're not even friends since it seems every time we're near each other, we just keep fighting. But I think that can change, especially since we just settled our differences. He doesn't see me as worthless or weak anymore, and he even complimented me! And the best thing in the world happened today!" Here, Satoshi raised his arms to the sky. "He called me by my actual name! It made me so happy. But now-" His voice broke.

Satoshi's arms dropped onto his lap. He bent his head and finally allowed a few tears to escape from his eyes. "But now he's gone, and even though I know we agreed on seeing each other again after he finishes battling Jindai-san, I can't help but to feel like I've permanently lost something important. And I don't think I can talk to my friends because they think there's nothing good about him, but I know he's a great person. He's not as bad as everyone thinks. They're all wrong about him, I know they are."

The rush of words faded, Satoshi breathless from speaking without a filter. Now that he was finished blurting out sentences, a sudden bout of embarrassment hit him, his face blushing bright red.

Takuto let out a surprisingly boisterous laugh, which only added more color to his cheeks.

"S'not funny," he mumbled.

When the man calmed his laughter, he apologized. "Forgive me, Satoshi. But I wasn't laughing at you. It's just… you're a bit clueless, aren't you?"

Satoshi whipped his head to pout at Takuto. "Everyone always says things like that, but maybe if they started speaking clearly, I wouldn't be so out of the loop all the time."

Takuto offered him a humored smile. "You'll understand with age, I'm sure. Besides, when it comes to the matters of one's own heart, everyone is a little bit clueless."

"So there's something wrong with my heart?" He tilted his head questioningly.

"It's obvious," Takuto replied, "that you're in love."

Immediately, Satoshi was on his feet, gaping at the man with an awful feeling of panic as he tried processing such an answer. The soft mutters of their Pokémon trailed off, leaving a pink-faced, flustered mess to cry out into the silence around them.

"Bu-But that can't be right, Takuto-san! I've only known Shinji for a year, a-and most of that time was spent arguing with him. I-I… I don't even know what being in love is like. How do you even know that's what I'm feeling?"

Takuto stood as well and placed a hand on his shoulder, still smiling but in a reassuring manner. "So we're talking about the boy you last fought."

Satoshi nodded, his hands rubbing his heated cheeks.

"Well…" Takuto stepped back, setting the knuckles of his fists between his sides and hips. "It's in your expressions. You tend to wear your feelings on your sleeve, Satoshi. Like when you said Shinji called you by name, the darkness within your eyes receded and left them sparkling brighter than a gemstone." He paused. "That darkness Darkrai sensed is from Shinji's leave, and due to your past disagreements, you fear he'll never contact you again, and though that can be bearable between friends, it is a devastating loss for the one who is in love."

Satoshi was entranced by his words, but it sounded personal. "It sounds like you know from experience."

Takuto nodded with a sad smile. "You don't reach my age without a few broken hearts."

 _Broken heart_ , he recalled from more than a year and a half ago, when Grovyle evolved into Sceptile. The missing pieces fell into place as he understood why the forest Pokémon had been unable to perform any attacks for a few weeks. _So Sceptile was in love with that Meganium and got a broken heart when he realized her and the Tropius were already together_.

Satoshi laid a hand over his chest where he felt the same irregular heartbeat from before, when Shinji looked up at him on those stairs. "…Love, huh?" His hand then curled into a fist. "Takuto-san, is it worth it? Loving someone, I mean."

"That's for you to decide, Satoshi. I will say this though."

The older trainer glanced towards their Pokémon, and Satoshi followed his kind gaze to see Pikachu playfully chasing Darkrai, his red cheeks emitting an electrical charge each time the legendary Pokémon dodged his dives from tree branches.

"It takes a lot of love to see what others cannot. Your friends may attempt to dissuade you from pursuing Shinji, but if I'm right, and love is what you feel for him, and you truly believe he's a good person, then maybe loving him really _is_ worth it."

Satoshi remembered Shinji's half-smile when he complimented Infernape, and then the praise he offered to his Electivire after losing their match. Those were just a few glimpses into Shinji's inner character, but it was enough to assure Satoshi that Shinji was anything but cruel or unfeeling like many of his friends described him to be.

After a thoughtful hum, Satoshi smiled up at Takuto. "You've given me a lot to think about."

The man chuckled. "Just don't let it distract you. I expect a challenging match tomorrow."

"Don't worry." Satoshi pushed out a fist and grinned. "Anything less would be rude after all you've done for me."

Takuto returned the gesture, firmly connecting their fists before reaching up and ruffling Satoshi's hair. "No problem, kid."

"Pikapi!"

Satoshi prepared for the incoming weight of Pikachu on his shoulder. The electric mouse nuzzled his cheek with a quiet coo and then waved to the Darkrai, who nodded its head once and joined its trainer.

As Takuto was about to turn away, Satoshi asked in pure curiosity, "Just one thing, Takuto-san. I was wondering. Doesn't it get boring only fighting with Darkrai and none of your other friends?"

"Not really." The man smiled, placing a hand on his Pokémon's shoulder. "Darkrai here was my first, before I even thought of becoming a Pokémon trainer. It was one of those instances where the Pokémon chooses the human, which I'm sure you've had at least one choose you as its trainer."

Satoshi smiled with fondness. Most of his Pokémon had joined him by choice, Charizard as a Charmander, and Squirtle, being the first two in mind. "More than once, actually."

"We've fought the longest," Takuto continued after grinning at his response, "and have only been defeated twice. Losing battles teaches in ways victory never does, and that is why I choose to always fight with Darkrai. We are searching for those that can better us, and I had high expectations for this Conference, but not one opponent has yet to do so."

The disappointment he heard in his voice motivated Satoshi for tomorrow's battle, and before the man was out of sight, Satoshi promised with a bellow, "I'll be the third! Just you wait, Takuto-san!"

He and Pikachu watched as the duo waved without turning around.

Grinning widely, Satoshi threw a fist towards the sky. "Pikachu, let's do our best tomorrow!"

"Pi-ka! Chu!"


	3. Visiting Shinji's Thoughts

_**Self-Discovery**_  
Chapter Three  
 _Visiting Shinji's Thoughts_

Somewhere in a Pokémon center was Shinji, watching Satoshi's match against a man named Takuto.

When Pikachu was declared incapacitated, along with the Latios, he wanted to be disappointed for him, but as always, Satoshi was smiling and cuddling the yellow creature to his chest, congratulating it for a job well done.

 _That loser_ , he thought warmly.

He would admit, only to himself, that Satoshi had become someone important, second only to his older brother, though if the other boy had not been so persistent, maybe he still would have gone on to ignore him and his compassionate approach to training Pokémon. But seeing the strength and fiery determination of his once little and inept Chimchar, Shinji had to concede that Satoshi was not entirely wrong about being more encouraging than critical.

And as much as he tried to deny, commending Electivire for its hard work yesterday had felt… satisfying.

The television zoomed for a close-up of the winner and then zoomed out when Satoshi began walking towards him. They joined hands in a handshake, but instead of separating, the two trainers came closer into a friendly hug.

He ignored the spark of jealousy that ignited as Satoshi stepped back and took Takuto's wrist, lifting it in the air which received a thunderous applause from the audience, the announcer commenting on their affable interaction.

Shinji turned his back on the video feed and headed out of the center with unwavering purpose.

He had to defeat Jindai and get back to Satoshi, as soon as possible.


	4. Friendship's Point Of View

_**Self-Discovery**_  
Chapter Four  
 _Friendship's Point Of View_

 _I beat Darkrai and Latios…_ Satoshi traded grins with Takuto while they waved to the crowds. _I know I didn't win, but this was better than any title or trophy._

"Now you can get distracted."

His grin diminished to a frown, Takuto reminding him of last night's revelation. Now that he was out of the competition, memories and thoughts of Shinji kept flashing through his conscience, trying to differentiate the love he has for his mother, for his friends, and for the boy who hurled his mind into chaos like no other.

…And during that evening's get-together of the remaining sixty-four contestants, Satoshi was still in contemplation, worrying the ones that knew him besides a knowing Takuto who sat beside him on a bench, sipping a mug of green tea while petting Pikachu who slept in-between them.

Jun was at the food-filled table, sampling the little delights with exaggerated bites and glaring at the winner of Sinnoh's Conference. He didn't know why Satoshi and Pikachu were so cozy with the creeper, and it was really bugging him. His normally spirited rival sat like a statue, staring out of a window with a blank expression.

"Jun!"

He swallowed the mushed cuisine and snapped, "What?!"

A hand smacked him across the head. He switched his glare to the two girls that interrupted his internal grumbling.

Hikari and Nozomi had their arms crossed, the latter snapping back. "Instead of wasting time being jealous over his new friend, go over there and talk to Satoshi."

Jun sneered, "I'm not jealous! I just don't like the fact that he's ignoring all of us. What's his problem anyway?"

Hikari noticed her rival's shaking fists and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Jun has a point. Satoshi is usually bursting with energy, but now…" she trailed off, worried.

Nozomi looked between them, then at their current subject who was even ignoring his favorite Pokémon. "Maybe he's just disappointed about losing the battle."

"I doubt he'd be sitting next to the one who beat him, if that was the case," Jun spat out with a childish pout.

His attitude was rubbing Nozomi the wrong way. The Grand Festival winner scowled, about to say a scathing remark until another voice cut in.

"Don't worry about Satoshi, you guys. There's just something on his mind that needs some reflection. Once he has it all figured out, he'll be the Satoshi we all know."

"Of course _you_ would know what's wrong with him."

The group of three turned to look at Takeshi, the first to speak in a comforting tone, and Kōhei, who pushed up his glasses with the usual – and creepy in Hikari's opinion – smirk.

Takeshi smiled. "Well, I _have_ known him since the beginning of his Pokémon training. This was normal during his first year, so there's nothing we have to worry about. Just leave him be for now."

Truth be told, he had lied to them – this wasn't normal Satoshi behavior – but if Pikachu was unconcerned, then Takeshi was too. Whatever Satoshi was thinking hard about, it was his own business, and interrupting him would be more detrimental than helpful. He just had to keep the others talking to each other until Satoshi was ready to socialize.

Across from them, Takuto finished his tea. He glanced over and sighed. He honestly didn't expect Satoshi to be this distracted, but it was understandable. The boy was only fifteen, and last night indicated he was more naïve than teenagers usually were. To suddenly realize he has a crush on his rival and potential friend must have been disorienting for an innocent kid like Satoshi, and thinking about it now, Takuto wondered if he should've kept the revelation to himself.

He caught the gaze of Satoshi's eldest friend, and when the spikey brunet nodded his head slowly, Takuto offered a soft smile.

 _Please watch him_ , was the deciphered message.

 _No worries_ , he pledged.


	5. Mama Hanako

**_Self-Discovery_**  
Chapter Five  
 _Mama Hanako_

Satoshi remained oblivious.

His body had been on autopilot since his match, unable to concentrate on anything but his own thoughts. He even missed Takuto's final battle and consequent championship. Even when he introduced Takuto to Takeshi, he wasn't hearing his own voice. His friends were probably worried, but he couldn't care about that.

If only he had someone-

Satoshi revived, shooting off the bench and sprinting out of main building with a quick and speedy word to Takuto.

"I'll be back! Keep Pikachu with you! Thanks, Takuto-san!"

He missed the man's response, as well as his companions calling out his name, focused on reaching the nearest video phone on the island. Why didn't he realize sooner…?

He eventually found a few that weren't occupied and punched in his favorite number.

Hearing his mother's voice and seeing her face- it affected him more than he thought it would, and he was embarrassed to feel tears streaming down his face. Shame flooded his stomach – she deserved frequent calls instead of a few per month.

The happiness in her greeting turned into concern. "What is the matter, Satoshi-kun?"

"Nothing," he sniffed. "Just missed you."

Her concern faded, replaced by a cheery, albeit shaky smile. "I miss you too. Every single day. You know you're the world to me."

Satoshi wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Thanks, mama."

"I saw you're match," she declared abruptly. "You may have lost, but you did your best, and that's all that matters."

He held up his victory sign. "And it was an awesome match. I couldn't be happier, but it also helps that my opponent's become a very good friend."

"That explains why you two looked so comfortable together… It's always nice to hear about the people you've been meeting," she added with a serene smile.

With that comment, his mother reminded him of the reason he called. He looked down in guilt. "Mama, there's another reason I had to call you out of the blue like this."

"So there is a problem."

"Nothing horrible," he promised. "I just… need some advice."

"I'm listening."

Satoshi nodded, a little hesitant in bringing up someone they rarely talked about, but he really needed her help. He just hoped his mother would be okay afterwards.

"How did you know you were in love with papa, mama?"

She looked startled, but before Satoshi could regret the question, she covered her right cheek with a palm and joyfully exclaimed, "I've waited for the day you'd fall in love!"

"What-?" He flinched back. "No-! I mean, well I- I don't know," he stuttered uncertainly after his mother's smile curved in a teasing manner. "That's what I'm trying to figure out."

She seemed to take mercy on him when she said, "Alright, then. About your papa…"

Satoshi leaned in, eager to hear anything about his father who had died eight years ago. It had been sudden, and though he was now over the passing of his other parent, as a seven year old, he didn't quite understand how to grieve. His father was there… and then he wasn't. As days turned to months, he eventually realized his father was never coming back.

He was also eager to have an answer to his question. Because the next time he saw Shinji, Satoshi wanted to be certain of how he really felt.

He was tired of being clueless in these kinds of matters.


	6. Won't Be Beaten

_**Self-Discovery**_  
Chapter Six  
 _Won't Be Beaten_

Up in the mountains of Snowpoint City, underneath a forest of crystalized trees, Shinji was looking over his lined up Pokémon, standing in front of all six of them with crossed arms and a severe, yet unusually soft frown.

Electivire, Ninjask, Aggron, Gastrodan, Drapion, Froslass… they had done their best and almost won the match against Satoshi, but they were disappointed and ashamed despite their hard work, and he would be foolish not to understand why.

Shaking his head at himself, he muttered, "I'm proud of you guys," and watched as six heads jolted up in wide-eyed surprise. "There is no need to be ashamed of our loss," he continued, "and if we are to defeat Jindai-san, you must realize this."

Electivire was the first to step forward, pumping a fist and releasing a low-level thunder attack that enveloped the other five Pokémon in cocoons of bright yellow. The light was snuffed, and immediately, Shinji could see a new resolve alit within his party's hyped up bodies.

Aggron was stomping the ground, imprinting the shape of his clawed foot into the snow, Ninjask buzzing with frantic enthusiasm beside him, while frost was sparkling out from Froslass' floating form, Gastrodan and Drapion bobbing their heads on her left, the latter's purple and lavender extensions bouncing upwards.

Electivire grinned at everyone before beginning a chant of his name along with the others.

Shinji's frown cracked, upturning in a barely-there smile at their shared zest, unable and unwilling to smother his fondness for the Pokémon he had caught and raised this past year.

…The following week passed with them training in the snowy mountains, his Pokémon remaining outside their monster balls day and night. The terrain was impressive and perfect for training, its frequent blizzards and hailstorms an opportunity for improving instinct and skill, and most notably, forced Shinji to train alongside his Pokémon, a new and rewarding experience for someone who was not a hands-on trainer, preferring to use his own Pokémon against each other to improve endurance and stamina, as well as to eliminate common issues like type disadvantage.

Shinji had also noticed a change in his Pokémon since he began complimenting their diligence and stopped working them to exhaustion. None of them had waned in determination as he once feared, instead becoming more focused and eager for improvement, even showing uncharacteristic defiance any time he suggested a momentary rest.

And soon, they were prepared for a rematch with Jindai and his legendary Pokémon at Snowpoint Temple.

The first thing Jindai said to him as they shook hands was, "You have a concentrated fire in your eyes today. I trust you'll show me your best, unlike our previous match."

Shinji smirked, an image of a grinning Satoshi flashing through his mind.

"I won't lose," he declared, confident but without the arrogance he once exuded.

He would not be beaten… because there was someone important waiting for him.


	7. Takeshi

_**Self-Discovery**_  
Chapter Seven  
 _Takeshi_

Before Satoshi departed for the ferry ride to Twinleaf Town with Hikari and Takeshi, Takuto extended a hand for him to take, his other hand scratching beneath Pikachu's chin who was perched on his shoulder, a red cheek rubbing against Takuto's temple.

The scene was adorable, and a bit surprising since Pikachu rarely trusted male humans other than Takeshi and himself, and they had only known Takuto for a few days. Yet, the older trainer had befriended both a Darkrai and a Latios, legendary Pokémon Satoshi doubted would follow just anyone. It was unfortunate that they were parting ways. He would have enjoyed learning more about his new, mysterious friend.

Satoshi accepted his hand, offering a grateful smile. "Thank you for everything, Takuto-san."

"I didn't do much," Takuto dismissed, glancing at their connected hands when Satoshi tightened his grip.

"You did a lot for me, honest. I'm not… confused anymore," he mumbled the last part, lightly scratching at the blush blooming across the bridge of his nose with a fingertip. He was unused to addressing such a personal matter now that he understood his feelings, and talking with his mother didn't change that, especially after her blatant hints to bring Shinji into their home.

Satoshi was given a warm smile, Pikachu relocating to his trainer's shoulder as their hands separated. He steadied his best friend as Takuto said, "I wish you luck, Satoshi-kun. I hope to see you again someday."

"Me too, Takuto-san."

The man waved, leaving for his own ferry.

Satoshi stared at his retreating back until he was blending in with the crowd.

He then joined Takeshi and Hikari who were conversing with Nozomi, Jun and Kōhei having departed on one of the early morning ferry rides.

Hikari tearfully embraced the other girl while Satoshi joined Takeshi's side, sharing grins when their eyes met.

All too soon, after a worrying incident involving a Pichu and other baby Pokémon, along with Happiny's evolution into a Chansey, they were only an hour away to their destination, the darkening sky reflecting the upcoming evening.

Satoshi strode up to Takeshi who was brooding on the deck, a cause for concern considering the aspiring breeder was typically in a positive, untroubled mood. He settled his arms on the railings like Takeshi, catching the hazy shadows of Twinleaf Town in the far distance.

"Are you really… thinking of being a doctor instead of a breeder? I mean, ever since we met, your dream has always been to be a Pokémon breeder," he noted. He looked up at his longest traveling companion, angling his head and happily adding, "But you know, I think whatever you decide, you'll be great at it!"

Takeshi laughed. "Well, thanks, Satoshi. Your confidence in me is appreciated… and yes, I… Becoming a doctor would require a lot of dedication, and I would have to stay in Pewter City to attain the necessary education. Travelling with you would not be an option." His informative tone dropped in pitch, reflecting the sadness his latest sentence triggered in both of them.

"Well," Satoshi began quietly, repressing the immediate dread at the thought of being without his most precious human friend, "you should go for it. Joy-san believes you can do it, and she knows best, doesn't she?" An endorsement by the renowned Joy family was plenty reason to at least attempt a medical career, and even if it did not work out, Takeshi would easily become an excellent breeder.

"I guess you're right."

Silence settled after that, and Satoshi's sudden announcement a brief moment later was as much a surprise to him as to Takeshi.

"I really like Shinji and," he paused, staring down at the ocean where a group of Barboach and Whiscash were swimming in the opposite direction, "and I think I'm falling in love with him."

He hesitantly looked up at Takeshi, worried his confession would be met with disapproval, but when his friend grinned and clapped him on the shoulder, he was relieved and somewhat ashamed.

Of course Takeshi was happy for him. The older trainer never assumed Shinji to be a cruel, unfeeling person, and even had a level of respect he was not too sure his other friends held for Shinji. Satoshi felt silly for thinking otherwise.

"Honestly, that's not too surprising," Takeshi stated, wrapping an arm around Satoshi's neck and playfully twisting his knuckles against his head. "Oh, the overdue realization of romance! My little Satoshi's growing up!" he wept in a bellowing voice.

Satoshi laughed at the teasing, already having admitted to his obliviousness to Takuto. He wondered how no one had yet to scream and trample him from frustration after all these years, except maybe, for Kasumi. The redhead had her own fair share of arguments with him during their three years of travel, and he had no doubt that more than half the time it was because of his lack of understanding. He reminded himself to visit her at some point before his next journey.

Free from Takeshi's grasp, he fixed his askew hat, saying, "Yeah, sorry about that. It must have been annoying."

"Actually, I thought it was one of your more endearing qualities. I'm gonna miss it." Takeshi smiled, facing the sunset that shone red and orange light unto the ocean blues. "And I'll… miss traveling with you as well."

It took a while for that to process, and when it did, Satoshi gasped and pulled on the other's sleeve. "You- really!?"

"Yeah," he chuckled out, sounding just as giddy as Satoshi. "You convinced me to go for it. And besides…" Takeshi joined their hands, speaking with a saccharine voice containing his usual dramatic passion, "this is the perfect time to spread your wings, Satoshi! You must confess to Shinji, no matter what! It'll be scary at first, but with love on your side, you'll be able to overcome anything!"

His hands were released and Satoshi watched Takeshi bring up a fist with tears streaming down his cheeks. Satoshi was amused by the spectacle with a faint blush pinking his face. "It feels like I'm giving my blessings to my own child! It's so beautiful and painful and the desire to find Shinji and threaten him to take care of you is just so power- ah…!"

Satoshi shook his head, sighing as Croagunk dragged a downed Takeshi away.

Hikari came up from behind him and giggled. "What'd he do this time? I don't see any girls around."

"You know. He's just being himself," he replied.

And Satoshi wouldn't want Takeshi to be any other way.


	8. Separation

_**Self-Discovery**_  
Chapter Eight  
 _Separation_

 _"You three are fired as of today."_

When the Rocket Gang abandoned their next plan to capture Pikachu in favor of Delibird's letter delivery, being sacked from the organization was the last thing Musashi and Kojirō expected. The letter had demanded their return to headquarters, and since a meeting with the boss himself was a rare occurrence, they had been so sure a promotion was in their future.

The human pair stared at Sakaki with gaping mouths and disbelieving eyes. They couldn't tear their gaze from the boss' indifferent look, his chin propped by his intertwined fingers and his mouth a thin line, boredom radiating from his slouched form.

After a short pause that seemed to last for hours, they were startled by something gripping onto their legs. They glanced down and found Meowth, one paw wrinkling Kojirō's pants and claws digging into Musashi's knee-high boots, a fraught reaction not usually associated with their furry partner. He was just as shocked and distressed as them.

Musashi snapped first, a fist forming over her chest as she yelled, angry, confused, and her pride injured, Kojirō wearing a wounded expression but staying silent, his own rage boiling within the pits of his stomach, but too used to Musashi taking the reins to actually vent himself, listening as she defended their team, emphasizing their achievements over the Galaxy Gang and that Pokémon hunter J.

At their feet, Meowth was deaf to Musashi's vehement verbal defense, the word 'fired' echoing in his head. He released his grasp on his team's legs, unknowingly shaking when his thin pupils met another pair.

Sakaki's Persian watched him atop a large throne-like chair, curled up and smug, kneading the fabric he sat on, tail swishing from side-to-side in a mocking manner.

Resignation brought Meowth to his knees, realizing any chance he had of replacing that lap-stealing feline was gone, because they were sacked, dismissed, canned, _fired_. The spacious room seemed to spin and he barely registered Sakaki's annoyed response.

That was, until his now former boss ordered Musashi and Kojirō to be removed from the premises while he was to be left behind.

Meowth leaped back up to his two-legged stance, seeing his human teammates resisting the forceful pulls of a few grunts. A second group of grunts came running in, helping the others to get Musashi and Kojirō out the door.

Not wanting to be separated from his long-time team, he tried to run into the fray, only to be stopped by Persian, who hooked his fangs into the scruff of Meowth's neck. He struggled, panicked and desperate, extending a paw toward Musashi and Kojirō. They witnessed his wretched attempt to reach for them, screaming his name, actual tears causing blue and green to shimmer like sapphires and emeralds.

"Meowth…!" was the last thing he heard from Musashi's elegant voice and Kojirō's deep tones before they were out of sight, the door slamming shut behind them.

Meowth let out a despaired mewl he never thought would escape from his throat, just as he was tossed aside, his chin slamming down and then scraping against the metal tiles as he slid across.

He slowed to a stop, meeting eyes with his evolution form, the larger cat smirking at him with a flicking tail, looking as if he had eaten a Pidgey… or was about to.

He lifted himself on all fours, the ends of his hair rising along his spine as his back arched, giving into his base instincts the closer Persian creeped towards him. With what little hope he had remaining, Meowth searched for Sakaki, only to realize the man had, at some point, left his office, leaving him to the mercy of this loathsome Persian.

His replacement.

His _permanent_ replacement.

Meowth growled and pointed. "You ruined everything, nya," he hissed, standing on two legs and protracting his claws.

~ Had you spent these years reaching my level instead of failing alongside those pathetic humans, perhaps you would have been in my place. But as a Meowth, you are _nothing_. ~ Persian neared him again, the points of his claws clinking against the floor.

The conceit in those rumbling series of meows enraged Meowth, and his momentary fear of the larger feline drained away. "I don't need to evolve into a stupid Persian to be top-cat around here, nya! I can do what no other Pokémon has done! I can speak the human language perfectly, and that is an invaluable ability, nya!" He panted after his declaration, tears of frustration beginning to form at the corners of his narrowed eyes. He worked hard to get this far. He should have been appreciated and adored, respected, not treated like garbage. At every turn, a metaphorical foot was brutally and maliciously slammed onto his little body, over and over again until he was returned to the bottom of the trash-filled barrel.

And he was so tired of it.

Persian, only a few feet away, scoffed. ~ Sakaki-sama doesn't agree, Meowth. Just accept your uselessness, and if you are in need of encouragement, then let me be of assistance. ~

That was Meowth's sole warning before Persian attacked, unleashing a swift, downward night slash, one without the mercy a Pokémon battle mandated.

Agonizing pain erupted across his belly. He glimpsed a dark shade of red spraying outward as his body twisted to the side from the force of the other's violent strike, landing on his face and another wave of pain paralyzing him.

~ I am going to enjoy this very much, kitten, ~ came Persian's pleased purr.

Fangs descended upon him and Meowth cowered, wishing he at least had the chance to say goodbye to Musashi and Kojirō.


	9. Inside The Viridian Forest

_**Self-Discovery**_  
Chapter Nine  
 _Inside The Viridian Forest_

Parting ways with Takeshi had been easier than Satoshi thought it would be, maybe because he was used to goodbyes, or because Takeshi was leaving to possibly become one of the most successful Pokémon doctors. Either way, Satoshi managed to turn away from his longtime friend without shedding tears, walking along the path that would lead him back to Pallet Town and his mother.

Pikachu leaped onto his shoulder a few hours into the journey home, his tiny mouth widening in a lengthy yawn. Satoshi burst into quiet laughter, petting the electric mouse as his other hand held the map up to his face and said, "We're in the Viridian forest, and not too far from Viridian City. We can rest at the Pokémon Center there."

As Pikachu rested his eyes and little paws, Satoshi recalled the last time he had been in Viridian City.

It was the first time he encountered the Rocket Gang who had become a permanent fixture during his time as a Pokémon trainer. They were a pesky trio of thieves and incredibly persistent in their goal to steal Pikachu from him. He could not imagine a life without them though, as strange as that sounded.

The Rocket gang had an important role in his improvement as a trainer, each scheme keeping him and his friends on their toes and raising the experience of his Pokémon. Whether by using their own Pokémon or some advanced piece of machinery, the Rocket Gang had aided in the development of new attacks and caused several members of Satoshi's rotating team to evolve, and he wouldn't trade their existence for anything. He might have even thanked them if he thought it would be received well.

Viridian City had also introduced him to the first Nurse Joy and Officer Junsar, both who had saved Pikachu from his grievous injuries following the attack by a flock of angry Spearow. And then there was Kasumi, a fiery introduction he could never forget, especially when it was the beginning of her demands for a new bike.

Satoshi was ripped from his memories by a drop of water pelting his forehead and a squeak from Pikachu. He looked up between tree branches, finding rainclouds concealing the entire sky, a stark change from two hours ago when the sun was still shining light unto them.

"I guess we'll be running the rest of the way." Pikachu jumped off his shoulder, muttering the first two letters of his name as he rubbed a wet spot on his left ear, only to get three more spots on his right ear, shrieking irritably.

Satoshi began running for some kind of shelter, hearing Pikachu run alongside him.

Ten minutes later, it began to downpour, drenching them from head to toe and filling their ears with heavy pattering, but there was another sound beneath the rain, a noise he faintly recognized, freezing him in place. Pikachu mumbled a confused, "Pika?" as Satoshi bent down, placing a finger over his lips in a gesture for silence. He closed his eyes and cupped behind his ears to hear better, eventually deciphering the familiar, frenzied cries of Spearow in the distance. They were not angry, and they didn't sound annoyed, so why else would Spearow be causing a commotion, he wondered.

Without wasting another second, Satoshi rushed deeper into the forest, venturing off the worn trail and into uncharted territory, curiosity and concern at the forefront. He glanced over several times, reassuring himself that Pikachu was not falling behind. It would be too easy losing Pikachu in this mess of rain and incoming darkness, after all.

The Spearow craws grew in volume until he was met with a flock flying overhead, circling a collapsed figure covered in mud and motionless. One Spearow separated from the group and pecked at the body once, before returning to the air and another one following suit. The hungry look in their beady eyes disturbed Satoshi who turned to Pikachu, ordering a thunderbolt to be directed at the ravenous birds.

Yellow lightening blinded him until it finally died down, and when he looked up, the Spearow were gone. Pikachu was already at the downed body, his red cheeks still sparking from his powerful attack. Satoshi walked forward in five long strides and fell to his knees, taking in crème-colored fur and a long tail that curled at the tip, two features that brought him dread. When he turned the Pokémon around, he gasped.

A Meowth, which were not native to Viridian. Either this Meowth was far from home, or it was…

He gathered it into his lap and used the back of his hand to wipe some of the mud off its cheeks and stomach, only for the cat to hiss and scratch at his hand. Satoshi flinched but managed to keep the Meowth in his arms, offering hushed apologies as he searched for the reason why it reacted violently.

He didn't like what he saw mixed in with the grime, and the bleeding gash he had uncovered sickened him. It was no longer a mystery as to why the Pokémon attacked him, and as he examined the rest of its wounded body, he wanted to cry. Across from him, Pikachu was cooing, his front paw patting the dirty charm on its forehead.

Satoshi felt each shallow breath the cat let out and lowered his head, murmuring, "Pikachu and I are going to get you help. You'll be okay."

He was not expecting a response, nor a response made up of letters a typical Meowth was unable to utter.

"Koji… Sashi…" was the weak whisper, barely heard over the rainstorm.

 _Kojirō and Musashi_ , he realized.

Satoshi secured the Rocket Gang's Meowth in one arm, reaching for a specific monster ball hooked to his belt.

When Pikachu noticed the bolt of lightning on the red half of the ball, he backed away, waving his head and little arms while objecting, "Pi pikapika chu, chu, chuuu~!"

Satoshi enlarged Pikachu's monster ball, donning a regretful grimace. The last thing he wanted was to stuff his best friend back into his ball, but they were running out of time. Meowth was in bad shape.

"Pikachu, please understand. Meowth needs help and I can't carry both of you all the way to the Pokémon Center, and there's no way you'd keep up with me on foot." The electric mouse was still quaking, his paws fretfully pulling at his ears. "I promise, Pikachu, the moment I get to the Center, I will let you out of your monster ball. I promise," he pleaded with a shaky, reassuring smile.

Pikachu glanced at the cat in his arms and frowned, his black eyes watering when Meowth whimpered and curled up to Satoshi's chest. The mouse slumped, tottering back to Satoshi and leaning his cheek on the human's knee.

"Thank you," Satoshi said, a sour taste in his mouth when he added, "Pikachu, return."

Pikachu became nothing but a red light that was sucked into the ball he hooked back to his belt before beginning the arduous trek to Viridian's Pokémon Center, utilizing his jacket as a makeshift umbrella for the unconscious Meowth, Pikachu's occupied monster ball a considerable weight against his hip.

"You better not die on me, Meowth."

Satoshi would never forgive himself otherwise.


	10. Getting Help

_**Self-Discovery**_  
Chapter Ten  
 _Getting Help_

"Junsar-san! Junsar-san!"

Satoshi pounded on the door of the police station with a fist, shivering from head to toe and Meowth curled in his arm, his wet fur soaking mud and blood into Satoshi's shirt. It had taken a whole fifteen minutes to reach Viridian City and the cat had deteriorated, his whimpers absent and breathing more shallow than before, his tummy rising less and less by the minute. But he was so exhausted from running. There was no way he would reach the Pokémon Center in time, not on foot. Officer Junsar's motorbike, however…

The cerulean-haired woman stepped out, amber eyes alight with alarm when she narrowed in on the cat against his chest. She glanced back at him, recognizing his face as she said, "Ah, Satoshi-kun, what happened?"

"No time," he rushed out, and he was surprised by the amount of fear radiating from those two words. "I have to get to the Pokémon Center, Junsar-san, please!"

She didn't ask any more questions before opening the garage, revealing her motorbike and the passenger seat attached. Junsar pulled the bike out and hitched a leg over the seat, Satoshi jumping into the side car and hugging Meowth to him as they started the drive to the hospital, his free hand wrapping around Pikachu's condensed monster ball for comfort. He hated how similar his situation was to the first day as a Pokémon trainer, only, instead of a battered mouse, he was holding onto a dying cat.

Takeshi would have been able to do something for Meowth, could have given Meowth more time, or at least lessened the pain… but Takeshi wasn't here, and Satoshi could only hope for the best.

Within five minutes, Junsar was speeding into the newly-built Pokémon Center, her wheels squealing along the floor until they reached the middle of the expansive room. The Nurse Joy behind the counter seemed ready to snap at Junsar for the disturbance, but Satoshi stopped her, letting his sodden jacket plop to the floor so she had a proper look at Meowth.

"I found this Meowth in the forest being attacked by Spearow, Joy-san. He's hurt really bad," he quickly explained.

Meowth was carefully taken from his arms, and he anxiously watched as the cat was placed on a stretcher and rushed to the emergency room by a Chansey, Joy following closely behind. The red light above the double doors illuminated, signaling the beginning of an operation.

Junsar left soon after, wishing him good luck and offering a shoulder clap.

Alone, Satoshi rubbed his arms and sighed, looking around the Center to see that it was built to look exactly like the previous one. Even the etchings of legendary Pokémon that included Ho-Oh was back on the wall, as if it wasn't destroyed all those years ago.

His hand involuntarily strayed to his belt while he was comparing. Satoshi unclipped Pikachu's monster ball and pressed the button, tossing it into the air. A weight that had settled in his chest alleviated once his best friend was in front of him, shaking his little body to will the claustrophobia away. Satoshi bent down on one knee, holding out his arms for Pikachu to leap in, which the mouse immediately did, rubbing their cheeks together.

Pikachu muttered a question in a solemn tone after greeting Satoshi, "Pi… pika pika?"

"It's okay. I got here in time. We shouldn't worry now, hopefully at least."

They both turned toward the door Meowth had been rolled into, unable to completely rid themselves of worry despite Nurse Joy's competence.

To distract himself, Satoshi wandered to the video phone and contacted Shinji's older brother, Reiji.

He had promised to send his number and address, after all.

The first thing he said, or more accurately, blurted out to the surprised face of Reiji was, "How are you, Reiji-san? Is everything alright? How's Shinji?" His round of questions were an effect of being worried for Meowth's survival, unconsciously pondering how the brothers were fairing, and he was tempted to call his other friends too to be sure they all returned home in one piece. Realizing his rudeness, Satoshi pulled back from the screen and scratched his cheek, bowing his head. "Forgive me, Reiji-san. I didn't even say hello."

The man laughed kindly, waving a hand. "That's alright, Satoshi-kun. But is something wrong where you are?" The knowing look in his eyes reminded Satoshi of Takuto, strangely enough.

He must have been really transparent for them to so easily detect the true emotion behind his smile.

"I found a Meowth in the Viridian forest. He was… dying," Satoshi hesitantly informed, trying to block out the image of the bleeding, weakened Meowth he had known for years. "I made it to the Pokémon Center on time, but…"

Reiji finished for him. "You can't help but worry."

"Yeah," he mumbled back. Louder, he asked, "Hey, is Shinji still at Snowpoint City?"

"Last I heard from him, he was training in the mountains there. That was just a day ago."

"Well, when he gets back, please tell him I called. I want to know the results of his rematch with Jindai-san."

Reiji smiled, nodding. "Of course."

Satoshi quickly listed his number and address before ending the call, staring at the blackened screen with Pikachu's breathing being the only noise silencing the inevitable ring in his ears.


	11. Scarred Feline

**_Self-Discovery_**  
Chapter Eleven  
 _Scarred Feline_

Upon regaining consciousness, Meowth's twitching ears caught a loud rumbling that was distantly familiar. He couldn't recall any memories of this sound, not until he felt the intense vibration resonating from his own tummy.

It must have all been a dream. There was no possible way Sakaki-sama would fire him and his teammates, let alone allow that measly Persian to attack him so viciously. They had been loyal Rocket Gang members for years, and while they were not always successful in their attempts to capture Pokémon, they at least had unwavering perseverance to never give up. Yes, they had not been fired, they had been promoted. And now he was back on the boss' lap.

Why else would he be purring in conjunction with a hairless paw smoothing down the short hairs along his back?

He fluttered his crusty eyes, expecting to see an expensive mahogany desk with important documents stacked adjacent to a couple of ballpoint pens and a yellow highlighter. Instead, he met the concerned, teary gaze of Pikachu's trainer.

Realization and despair shattered the reality he had briefly created in his hopeful, stubborn mind. Lingering pain finally registered, spreading out from the source as he foolishly jerked his body, twisting until he was no longer lying on his side, dropping onto his stomach. Pure agony erupted, immediately sending him to the realm of nightmares.

Satoshi wiped his damp cheeks for the thousandths time that hour, his other hand running fingertips through soft, newly washed fur. Sometimes he would rub Meowth's ears and paws between his thumb and forefinger, dedicating his touch to any uninjured area. Even as his eyes drooped from exhaustion and his hand went limp, he never touched the heavily bandaged stomach, consciously aware of the deep and once infected wound that would be leaving a distinctive scar.

Pikachu was lying behind Meowth, his forehead pressed against the cat's neck, looking worried even in sleep. The electric mouse had been massaging Meowth's back for a good two hours before collapsing sideways, though his best friend had put up a good fight against the inevitable.

Satoshi frowned drowsily, his head cushioned by his arm. With the heater warming the hospital room, sleep was creeping upon him as well, but he fought to continue petting the unconscious cat just as Pikachu did.

He did not expect Meowth to suddenly awaken and thrash after realizing who Satoshi was, landing on the exact injury he had been carefully avoiding while releasing an awful screech. Satoshi bolted out of his chair, gathering the cat into his arms while calling for Joy-san, Pikachu now wide awake and firing off frantic questions.

As Meowth was taken from his arms, Satoshi wondered why he was insistent on remaining here, watching over someone who would hate being saved by their enemy. If he knew anything about the bipedal feline, it was his overwhelming pride.

But listening to Meowth's pained mewls, he decided it didn't matter why. Right now, Meowth needed him whether the cat liked it or not.

Early morning dawned outside as Meowth regained consciousness again, an aggressive awakening that resulted in bleeding arms as Satoshi struggled to calm the lashing cat, claws littering his shirt with tears from squeezing Meowth against his chest.

"Let me go!" was the relentless protest Satoshi ignored, tightening the grip of one arm while his free hand ran fingers through the short fur on Meowth's back, taking full advantage of the cat's creeping exhaustion.

Eventually, Meowth surrendered to the petting, sagging and burrowing into Satoshi's shoulder, claw tips caught in his, again, ruined shirt. On the bed, Pikachu was pika-chuu-ing in concern, wearing a little frown and his ears drooping down.

Meowth snapped, "What happened has nothing to do with you, nya!" turning his head to glare at Pikachu.

His best friend glared back, waving his arms to demonstrate frustration. "Pi! Pi-pika pika-chu!"

"What you really mean is pity! I don't need that from you or the twerp, nya!"

"Pika-pikachu Pikapi pika!"

"So your trainer has a bleeding heart. That don't matter to me, nya!"

"Pi~ka!

Meowth surprised him by leaping from his loosened grip and landing back on the bed to raise claws toward Pikachu. "How dare you-"

Glimpsing at red-tinted bandages, Satoshi placed his hands between the quarreling Pokémon. "Hey, hey, hey! How about we all calm down for now. You still need to rest your wound, Meowth."

"…No questions?" the cat asked, suspicious.

"Well, I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned," Satoshi carefully replied. The last thing he wanted was Meowth fleeing from the Center in his weakened state, vulnerable to eager, new trainers and starving Pokémon. While he was curious of the wound's origin, Meowth's health was far more important. "But whether you believe I did this out of sympathy or pity," he continued, "I don't want you to keep hurting yourself."

Meowth stared at him for a moment before plopping on his bottom, his hostile countenance giving way to grief he failed to suppress any longer. Satoshi scooped Pikachu into his arms and respectfully turned away, pretending he was unable to hear wracking sobs behind him while rubbing Pikachu's right cheek, a silent comfort for them both.

Quietly, he clarified, "From what I have learned on my journey, other Pokémon with scars… they don't like being questioned either. I know it is a very personal matter, so I won't ask." He smiled, despite no one seeing it. "…But if you ever want to confide in someone, I will listen."

Satoshi waited until the wet sounds subsided, facing Meowth with a wide grin. The injured cat was dabbing at the damp fur around his cheeks, looking down at his wrapped belly with a scowl, possibly recalling how he received the severe gash.

"Meowth," Satoshi called, gaining his attention, "I have a suggestion, if you don't mind hearing it."

He had to return home, not just so his mother could see him after all these months, but to visit his Pokémon. Satoshi missed everyone's friendly and excited faces, their endless chatter and overjoyed greetings, even Bayleef's tackles that still tossed him to the ground. She would get along with Gliscor's overwhelming, yet adoring glomps. There was also the responsible Bulbasaur, never failing to settle any dispute, and he knew Infernape would be calmed by the seed Pokémon's presence. His newest group of friends would fit right in without problems, Satoshi was certain.

Surely Meowth would find someone he could be congenial with, while being within a restorative environment to improve his physical and mental healing. Remaining at the Center would simply urge the cat to escape and fall into dangerous situations, but Ōkido-hakase's residence would be safe, offering Meowth food and shelter until he was ready to wander alone.

And maybe someday the cat would consider the laboratory to be his home, Satoshi hoped, if the Rocket Gang didn't locate Meowth first.

Satoshi summarized his thoughts with, "Come with me and Pikachu to my hometown. You can heal up at Ōkido-hakase's laboratory before returning to the Rocket Gang." He then waited for an obstinate refusal to the proposal.

Rather, Meowth whispered with a yielding pout, "Fine, nya."

Satoshi had also noticed the cat's flinch when he referenced Musashi and Kojirō.

He didn't say anything about it, though.


	12. One Step Forward

**_Self-Discovery_**  
Chapter Twelve  
 _One Step Forward_

"I don't need to be carried, nya! It's embarrassing!"

The brat rudely rolled his eyes at his demand, continuing to hold him like a human infant.

Meowth folded his arms, still tempted to be obstinate, but deterred by the pull of his stitches. He really was useless at the moment, and if he had been left alone, he would have only gotten in more trouble.

A blow to his pride this would usually be, yet… what pride did he really have now? He was kicked out of the Rocket Gang, easily defeated by Persian, tossed into a forest as if he was a used rag doll, and abandoned to crawl in dirt until his body gave out. That had all been the definition of pathetic.

His stubborn aura faded, reducing his scowl to a tired frown. Meowth was at his lowest and he didn't see his life getting any better. Maybe he should just be happy the brat was taking him to a place of paradise, a far improvement from trashy inns and canned slop with too salty crackers.

The only thing he worried about was the other Pokémon. He didn't exactly have an amiable relationship with them, some belonging to the brat and others being part of previous capture attempts by the Rocket Gang. Then again, he was injured. None were cruel enough to attack him, not the Pokémon at the Ōkido laboratory. It truly was the best and safest place he could recover in.

His human carrier abruptly stopped as Pikachu jumped on the shoulder facing him, beginning to walk again once the yellow Pokémon was settled.

~ Are you… still in pain? ~ the persistent electric mouse inquired.

He nearly snapped, but remembered their last conversation that resulted in angry yelling. He bit his tongue, replying, "I'm alright, okay? Stop pestering me, nya," in an irritated tone.

~ You're not acting as you usually do. I was just worried, ~ Pikachu muttered, a slouch in his shoulders.

He said the same thing before, and still it sounded more pitying than concerned. From experience, Meowth knew Pikachu and his trainer had good intentions. His welfare would be their priority even if they knew he was purposely deceiving them. Meowth considered, had there been treachery afoot here, maybe he could have accepted their aid to be born from concern rather than pity. In his current situation, though, with all his hopes and dreams crushed under Persian's paw, he was unable to see through heartfelt eyes.

After some contemplation, he loudly sighed. "My problems are my own, but… thank you, nya," he mumbled grudgingly, offering a strained smile to the mouse.

Pikachu seemed shaken by his response, most likely to it being even more out of character. With how his future was looking, he figured he'd be saying thank you a lot, especially since he was being taken to a professor's laboratory. Despite what he had endured, the large part of him that craved a cozy life was happy at the thought of secure living, no more worries of when he and his team would have their next meal or where they would be sleeping next. The rest of him, however, wished he could go back to the Rocket Gang, not just to see Musashi and Kojirō again, but to put that damn Persian in his place.

Had he been stronger, he could have, well, that was the problem, wasn't it? Compared to his evolved form, and even other Meowth, he was powerless with no special abilities. How different he would have been had he known lightening attacks like that boot-wearing Meowth, or knew Pay Day as all the others. Perhaps his first mistake was learning human language. So what if he could translate other Pokémon? His former boss found no use for it, and Persian confirmed Sakaki considered it a useless skill. Even that female Meowth from Hollywood scorned his hard-earned speech, calling him a freak, twice. And the second time had been so much worse, another Persian being chosen over him.

Meowth scratched his forehead with frustration, squeezing his eyes to will the troubling thoughts away. He soon lost his composure and despondently asked, "Was I foolish learning how to speak like this?" He was tempted to claw out his throat after confessing one of his anxieties to his former enemies. Their opinions wouldn't be any different from Sakaki or Madonnya-

~ I think it's great. You helped us out of a few crises because of it. ~

"I don't think so. In fact, it would be very useful for communication between Pokémon and humans. Maybe it would also allow for better understanding between us, if more Pokémon learned how to speak our language, I mean."

All Meowth could do was stare at the two, amazed or incredulous, he wasn't quite sure.

Why were they both so…

"I wonder if it's possible for humans to learn Pokémon speech too."

…so kind to him?

He recalled comforting the pre-evolved Infernape, swearing the brat and his group would do anything he needed for his happiness. Chimchar had deserved that kind treatment, but Meowth had been their enemy for so many years, causing them trouble time and again. He just couldn't understand why Pikachu and his trainer were actually praising him for the skill his so-called allies deemed useless, and to even suggest it could bring humans and Pokémon closer together was a monumental statement of hope it didn't deserve.

"Wouldn't that be wonderful, Meowth?"

Meowth forwent an answer regarding the current topic, uttering under his breath. "You're both too nice, nya."

Maybe he, too, wanted what Chimchar had gotten back then, a kindness hard to come by even by the two humans he was possessive over, those whom he had just lost. They had cared about him in their own, emotionally stunted ways, an inevitable connection after working together for so long. Yet, never did they take a moment to compliment his speaking skills when demanding for translations, nor did they pet his fur or let him curl into their laps. He was allowed a few occasional hugs, but nothing beyond. And whenever their team failed, they never hesitated to kick him around and place the blame all on him.

True kindness was a rarity for him and… he really wanted to continue experiencing it.

Everything would change now that he was a lone Pokémon, so he might as well begin adapting to a principled lifestyle.

He almost felt like a kitten again, forever waiting in that grubby old box.

Almost, because this time, he had been lifted from the box.

He was starting off rather well, Meowth thought contently.


	13. Fur And Feathers

**_Self-Discovery  
_** Chapter Thirteen  
 _Fur And Feathers_

Satoshi was unsure whether to be more surprised by his new habit of petting Meowth, or his furry companion's willingness to be petted.

He had never seen Musashi or Kojirō shower such attention onto their third member, and he wondered if they ever did. He expected Meowth to swipe at his hand a couple times in the beginning, yet, three hours later, the cat had merely nudged himself into Satoshi's moving hand. Whenever he readied to pull his hand away, Meowth would set the tip of his claws on his wrist, looking away with an embarrassed blush along his cheeks.

Satoshi found it rather cute, and he began to worry about forming an attachment to this mellowed version of Meowth. He was an independent Pokémon, after all, one disinclined to binding himself to someone like Satoshi. Not that he wanted Meowth to abandon Musashi and Kojirō – they had been together for so many years, he couldn't even imagine them being permanently separated – but the cat was turning out to be an endearing companion.

The lack of overbearing pride may have helped a bit, not that Satoshi would say it aloud. It sounded insensitive, even to an oblivious person like himself, because whatever happened to Meowth had something to do with this unusual passiveness.

He was also beginning to realize Meowth had more troubles on the mind than the incident behind his injury. Satoshi always believed the cat's ability to communicate between Pokémon and humans to be his greatest asset, and yet, after saying this aloud, Meowth had looked about to cry again.

Had no one praised such an accomplishment, he wondered, not even his own thieving comrades?

Obviously not, he concluded.

Now, his younger self may have forcibly interrogated Meowth for answers, but he was nowhere near as impatient or tactless as he was back then. Meowth would either confide in him and Pikachu, or he would keep his secrets until he was healed and ready to leave on his own.

And that was alright with Satoshi.

"We're almost there, you two."

Meowth's loud purrs came to a lull at his sudden announcement, while Pikachu let out an excited squeal by Satoshi's feet.

Satoshi felt like doing the same with how exhausted he was. The thought of his mother's homely cooking and loving hugs warmed him, something so simple but very much missed after a busy year. In fact, maybe a month break was in order. He really wanted to spend some quality time with his Pokémon, and his mother deserved to have her son around for more than a couple days. She was understanding enough to see him off after a short time, but Satoshi also knew she was too sweet a mother to voice her protests if he decided to head back on the road.

There was Meowth to consider here too. His mother had always adored feline Pokémon. She even hinted at him to befriend one before his first journey outside Pallet Town. Meowth's association with the Rocket Gang wouldn't deter her love for felines, he knew, and Meowth's ability to speak their language would only endear himself to her more.

Perhaps even more important, Meowth would fare better meeting his mother first, rather than all the Pokémon at Ōkido-hakase's laboratory. Satoshi would not delude himself into believing a simple word from him could quickly change his team's opinion of the wounded cat. No, he had to accept the possibility of Meowth being isolated from the others. Worst case scenario, Satoshi would have to play medium until an understanding was met.

He still held high hopes for a more pleasant scenario, though, as he knew his Pokémon could be quite forgiving. Kasumi would probably say it was his Pokémon adopting Satoshi's best traits, subtly criticizing the traits he had yet to improve.

A laugh slipped from him as he envisioned his redheaded friend's playful smile, missing Pikachu and Meowth's alarmed gasps.

"I don't know what you're laughing 'bout, but in case you didn't notice, there's a flock of freaks behind us, nya!" Meowth screeched, struggling frantically in his arms.

Satoshi briefly saw Pikachu bouncing on his little feet as he turned his head, only to gape stupidly at a flock of leering Spearow and a ferocious looking Fearow. A nauseating sense of déjà vu flowed over him in that terrifying second, automating his legs to flee in the opposite direction. He finally released a scream to match with Meowth's, Pikachu at his heels.

Whether it be Beedrill or Spearow and its evolution, he never seemed to get a break when coming to or from home.

"Run faster, kid!"

"I'm going as fast as I can, Meowth!" And admittedly, he was going pretty slow, being careful not to jostle the cat cradled in his arms. Pikachu had rushed passed him, now several meters ahead. The electric mouse glanced back to see him falling behind. "Keep running, Pikachu!" he implored, feeling claws dig into his chest as Meowth blubbered.

"We're gonna be bird food, for sure, nya! Doomed is what we are, doomed! I should have known it'd end up like this, nya!"

Satoshi was tempted to agree as pain struck his left side, muscles cramping from overuse and his awkward carrying position, but common sense soon overrode his flight instincts.

With one arm keeping Meowth secure, Satoshi reached for Infernape's monster ball, planning to smoke those persistent avian menaces.

At least until shadows suddenly towered over them, followed by angry calls of "Pidgeo!"

A jolt of familiarity had him looking up, but his distraction tripped him. Hyperaware of the ball of fur in his arms, Satoshi twisted his body so he landed on his back rather than his chest to avoid reopening Meowth's wound. He could already feel the bruise forming along his spine as he sat up and winced, asking through clenched teeth, "Are you okay, Meowth?"

Rather than a reply, the cat watched him with damp eyes, appearing stunned.

Satoshi frowned with concern, but raucous, antagonistic caws above them had him and Meowth squinting up. Through the blinding rays of sunlight, Satoshi glimpsed two Pidgeot teaming up against Fearow, enduring the combined attacks of Spearow as they steadily weakened Fearow.

"Pikapi! Pi-Chupi!"

With the exclamation of his name, Satoshi smiled at the mouse now clinging to his sleeve, but the second uttered name surprised him. He completely blocked out the sky battle in favor of a question.

"What was that, Pikachu?"

"Pi?" His best friend tilted his head, confused, before slowly repeating, "Pi-Chupi…?"

"Um… Meowth?" he inquired the cat in his lap, hoping for a translation.

Meowth replied with a "are you an idiot?" tone, "It's my name, nya."

"But I have never heard Pikachu say your name before."

After Satoshi mentioned this, Pikachu scratched his long ear, looking slightly abashed.

Meowth crossed his arms, giving Pikachu a grudging side glare. "Yeah, well, the mouse never had a reason to be nice with his names, nya."

"Pi-pikachu pika chu-chu, Pi-Chupi," apologized Pikachu, the jagged end of his tail moving to rest in the curl of Meowth's tail.

Meowth may have considered ignoring the electric mouse by the way his tail drooped before Pikachu made contact, but instead, the cat allowed their tails to link. "Like I didn't deserve it, for the most part," was the offhand response. "No big deal, nya," he dismissed.

Satoshi was tempted to aww at the odd friendship developing in front of him, but he also considered scolding Pikachu for whatever language Meowth was referring to. That would also explain Meowth and Pikachu's quarrel at the Pokémon Center, when his yellow friend snapped with, "Pi-ka!" It didn't sound nice then, and having some context now, it was certainly an unpleasant retort.

But being audience to their tail shake, Satoshi felt a scolding to be unnecessary.

"Pidgeo~!"

He looked back up, hearing the screech.

The flock of Spearow and the lone Fearow were long gone, while the other Pidgeot remained circling the sky, groups of Pidgey and Pidgeotto joining its rotating victory dance.

As the other Pidgeot descended, Satoshi tensed, Pikachu letting out threatening electrical charges and Meowth protracting his claws with a hiss.

Yet, there was something so familiar in the depths of its sharp, obsidian eyes that comforted Satoshi. He untensed and settled his hands on the Pokémon in his lap to calm them.

Happiness brought a bright grin to his face, and he joyously asked, "Pidgeot, is it really you?"

The giant bird landed with its wings engulfing Satoshi, greeting him with a few extra chirps Satoshi couldn't decipher.

"It's so great to see you again, Pidgeot. You're looking well."

Meowth suddenly spoke up, retracting his claws. "And I'm not planning anything, you presumptions fowl, nya."

An offended rumble vibrated against Satoshi's back.

Before his old friend could release its own, spiteful reply, he carefully cradled Meowth in his arms again and said, "Meowth isn't hostile at all, Pidgeot. You have nothing to worry about." For extra reassurance, Satoshi returned to unsteady feet and ran his fingers through the bird's colorful crest feathers. He smiled adoringly when Pidgeot pushed itself into his petting hand.

"Pidgeo~"

"Thank you for understanding, Pidgeot."

After Satoshi voiced his gratitude, the bird Pokémon spread its wings and bent, whipping its head to the side as a gesture to climb on.

He almost asked if Pidgeot really wanted to have him ride, but Pikachu was quick to leap onto its head with a hearty cry of his name. Shrugging to himself, Satoshi swung his leg over his Pidgeot and took hold of its neck feathers. He also double checked that Meowth was safely tucked against his stomach and clinging onto Pidgeot before taking flight.

The breeze ruffling his hair and cooling his cheeks was even more soothing when riding on the back of Pidgeot, an old friend he never expected to meet again, let alone have another chance to be up in the sky together. When he had returned home from Johto, he tried visiting the flying-type Pokémon only to find an empty forest. He believed the Pidgey evolution line had migrated elsewhere, in which case, he and Pidgeot would have remained separated from each other forever.

This had not been the case, much to his relief.

"You are in excellent condition, Pidgeot! And the other Pidgeot didn't look too bad, either!"

His old friend preened at the praise and cawed a series of its name.

"Wait, you say you're returning to the family, nya?"

Meowth's abrupt question caught him by surprise.

Satoshi glanced down at the scratch cat with a questioning furrow of the brow.

"Pidgeo! Pidgeo~!"

"I guess you're right about that, nya."

Satoshi interrupted. "Wait, what are you two talking about?"

As the cat answered him, the other Pidgeot matched their speed and exchanged a few words before taking off with an earsplitting cry that sounded like a goodbye. "Your Pidgeot says, because one of the Pidgeotto evolved, it has no reason to be their protector anymore. It wants to return to the family."

"Pipi-pikachu!"

Satoshi was blown away by Meowth's translation. Tears collected at the corners of his eyes from an overflow of emotion. What could he say to that besides the obvious, that he missed Pidgeot and would love nothing more than to have it back together with him.

But one thing Meowth said piqued his interest.

"Family?"

The cat burst into a round of snickers, tapping a paw on one of Satoshi's clenching hands.

"Duh, you twerp," Meowth teased, grinning up at him. "That's how your Pokémon refer to you and their fellow Pokémon oddballs, nya."

 _Family… that is…_ Satoshi's chilled cheeks warmed from a bashful blush. There was an influx of affection for all his Pokémon, his beloved family, the ones resting around his waist and the others waiting to see him back at the Ōkido laboratory.

Aloud, he simply said, "I love you guys."

Pikachu and Pidgeot accompanied his words with their own variation as they headed toward Pallet Town.

"Pika-pika pi, Pikapi!"

"Pidgeo! Pidgeo~!"

Satoshi then peered down at the cat lying against him and caught him wearing a thoughtful frown.

With another surge of affection, Satoshi tenderly rubbed the pad of his index finger along the shiny coin on Meowth's forehead, smiling wistfully.

Just maybe… one day…


End file.
